As a parent of a neurodivergent child, you’ve likely heard the term “burnout.” It’s not just a buzzword; it’s an all-too-real threat that can creep up on you, leaving you exhausted, depressed, and questioning your ability to be the parent your child needs. You might find yourself second-guessing every decision, feeling like your exhausted body and mind just can’t keep up.

But here’s the truth: Your commitment to your child is unwavering, but your energy isn’t infinite. The key to preventing burnout isn’t just about finding time for yourself; it’s about making yourself a non-negotiable priority. As my mother always taught me, you can’t create a beautiful picture without a good canvas. In other words, you can’t do all the things you want to accomplish if you don’t take care of yourself first.

What does self-care really mean?

At its core, self-care is about nurturing your mind, body, and spirit. It’s not just a spa day or a vacation, though those are great. It’s the daily, conscious effort to replenish yourself.

• For your body, this means the basics: eating nutritious food, exercising, and getting enough sleep. You don’t have to be a fitness guru or a gourmet chef. It might be as simple as a 15-minute walk or keeping healthy snacks on hand.
• For your mind, it’s about surrounding yourself with positivity, positive people, inspiring books, or uplifting shows and movies. It’s about protecting your mental space from negativity and nurturing it with things that bring you joy and peace.
• For your spirit, it’s whatever helps you connect with your inner self. This could be through prayer, reading spiritual texts, listening to calming music, or simply spending time in nature. The goal is to feel grounded and centered.

How to fit it all in when your schedule is a whirlwind

You’re probably thinking, “With everything on my plate, therapy appointments, household chores, and the unpredictable nature of my child’s needs, how in the world am I supposed to do all this?”

This is where flexibility and creativity become your best friends. We all know that a perfectly planned day can fall apart in minutes. A calm morning can become chaotic. Your to-do list suddenly has new items, and self-care is the first thing to get pushed aside. But with a little creative thinking, you can still find a way.

The saying goes, “There are many ways to skin a cat.” In our case, there are many ways to get into self-care.

Let’s say you planned a 50-minute walk, but a sudden meltdown derailed your plans. Instead of giving up entirely, can you fit in two 20-minute walks later? Or even one 15-minute walk? A short walk is infinitely better than no walk at all. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment, and the fresh air will do wonders for your head. You can even combine tasks, like listening to a podcast or spiritual music while you walk, or calling a supportive friend.

Similarly, if you planned a healthy, home-cooked meal but don’t have the time, you can still put together something nutritious. Keep healthy frozen meals or raw veggies and dip on hand for those chaotic days. Being creative and flexible with your plans is the key to making self-care happen, even when life is unpredictable.

The Power of  Alone Time

Beyond flexible self-care, there’s another critical component: alone time. This is your me time, a chance to sit by yourself and simply clear your head. This might be a few quiet moments in the car before you leave work, a few minutes reading in bed before you go to sleep, or even sitting in the car while your child is at an activity. Sometimes, it’s just about sitting in silence and doing nothing at all.

For some, alone time is about venting to a trusted friend or family member. My friend shared that talking to her parents was a huge source of comfort, as it allowed her to express her fears and anxieties without judgment. Another friend shared that sometimes she would just sit in the closet by herself and cry, which was a healthy release for her. The goal is to find what works for you to release stress and re-center yourself.

If a babysitter isn’t an option, think creatively. Can you connect with friends and family for a quick call while waiting in the car? Can you wake up 15 minutes earlier to read? Can you hire a sitter for a couple of hours or drop your kids off at a friend’s house for a playdate? These small, intentional actions can make a massive difference.

Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s the only way you can continue to be the loving, supportive parent your child deserves.

In Conclusion: Your Journey is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

The journey of parenting a neurodivergent child is a beautiful, challenging, and demanding one. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. To run this marathon well, you must take care of the runner yourself.

Remember that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. By being creative, flexible, and intentional about your “me time,” you are not just surviving, you are thriving. You’re building a stronger, more resilient foundation for yourself and, by extension, for your child.  

Your capacity to love and support your child is directly tied to the compassion and care you show yourself. So, take that walk, read that book, or simply sit in silence for a few minutes. You are worth it, and your child’s well-being depends on it. Please share creative ways you take care of yourself in the comments below.