Introduction

I really wished I would have gone to the Cinco de Mayo festival at my church and met my friends this Saturday. But I didn’t as I was tired. I felt bad and started feeling, “I should have gone. I could have managed my schedule better. I could have pushed myself a bit more”. We all are familiar with the “should have” , “could have” phrases. We can recall the numerous times we have beaten ourself up with what we should have done. The same is true in the journey of parenting neuro-divergent children. We see the various symptoms and we know we have to do something about. But we keep believing these things will go away on its own and one day magically all of the problems will disappear. While we know what needs to be worked on, we may not know how to do it or we we may be scared of actually doing it. Fear of the unknown is scarier than anything. When it comes to our child, not knowing what to execute or having too many choices to pick from or being afraid to make the wrong choice may often lead us to postpone taking action. The more we procrastinate, the more more guilty we feel. This becomes a loop and things start going down even more. As rime passes, the task of handling the issues are even more daunting, leading to more procrastination, doubt and worry.

When you feel intensely for your child, you also feel guilty of not having done anything. This issue keeps you awake and bothers you. This also interferes with other parts of your life like family, friends and work. You really wish you had a magic wand you waved and low and behold all problems disappear. Unfortunately there is no magic wand. You are the magic wand! Your action is the magic wand for your child. You taking action is the first and foremost necessary step in the journey of leading your Outlier to authentic success. No matter how much you believe that you cannot do it, I am very confident that you the parent are the only one who can accomplish it. There is no better person in the world that understands your child at the deepest levels and can create a detailed plan that will pave the way to your child’s future and success.

It is never too late! Better late than never! You have heard of these sayings. The same is true for the journey of raising an Outlier. It truly is never too late! You can start anytime and create a plan that works for your child. I would say starting late is better than not starting at all. In my own journey, I was in the the phase of being afraid and guilty and did not go all out until my child was in High School. I let me fears control my actions. I could have done things which would have made my child’s life better in elementary and middle school, but I did not start till much later when he was in High School. But I eventually gathered some courage and took the plunge. That’s was a key turning point for my little Outlier. I began feeling better and slowly I became more and more confident about his Future.

Power of Intention

There is extreme power with intention. When you whole-heartedly intend to do something with your entire being and give it your all, things will start changing for the better and your Outlier. You just have to want better outcomes for you and your child! Tell yourself” I want that amazing future for my child!” I want to see him/her succeed in life!” “I want my child to be the best they can be”! “I finally want to live my life without worry!” State your intentions daily and you will end up working towards them. Start now! Start wherever you are! Start however old your child is! Start no matter how severe your child’s conditions are and how much you feel hopeless about things. Start even if you feel you lost a lot of time. Just go for it!

Meet yourself and your child wherever you are

Give your self a break! We are all dealt different cards in life. Whether we like it or not, we have to play those cards life deals us. Why should you play them with all that added guilt and stress? Instead play your cards without self criticism and beating yourself up. To love your Outlier unconditionally, you have start learning to love yourself unconditionally. Self love comes before all else. So let go all the guilt and blame and start fresh. You deserve the same love and affection you have for your Outlier. Meet your child where he/she is now. Meet yourself where you are now. Each day is new and is a fresh start. Do not be afraid of starting over if you need to. Its ok if you started before and have failed and given up, it is never too late to start again. Let go of your past shortcomings and start fresh with new hopes and dreams. In the journey of raising a neuro-divergent child, you may have to restart many times when things don’t work as expected and refine the plan you put in place. So being flexible is a key trait you want to build.

Conclusion

I want to conclude by saying that cutting out all noise that comes from our “should have” and “Could have” phrases gives us the energy and bandwidth for things that need to be focused on for our Outlier. Start now! Meet yourself and your child wherever you are. Begin with an open mind, full of energy and with a growth mindset. Believe you can and you will! Go for it! Create that future you have always wished and dreamed about for your child. Remember you are the one with all the data points that can help create a plan that will work for your child. You as a parent can do it!

You can start by buying the book and reading it. Subscribe on my website mylittleoutlier.com for emails and updates. Start with one small thing each day. You will be surprised how each small thing can add up to great things. Focus on one move at a time. Life is a giant chess board. Keep moving your chess board coins moving one step each day. You are only one more step closer to your goal each day!