As months and years rolled on, I brought myself to begin researching online, I read a few books, and implement changes that helped a bit until my son began high school. There, he was bullied badly by his basketball teammates and every day, things only got worse. I was struggling to get the support my son required at school and beyond, though I also wasn’t clearly and persistently asking or advocating for it.
What was happening at school was spilling over at home, as family time became a nightmare. I dreaded going home after work as it was heartbreaking to hear about my son’s day at school Then one day, my son told me he no longer wanted to live. All I could think to do was to go to his school every day at lunch, so we could eat together in my car. I would do my best to keep him safe until we reached the end of the school year. The day I found out my son was suspended for punching a bully who had pushed him, something shifted within me. I began to speak up, ask for help, and take massive action. I made the tough decision to change high schools, which wasn’t easy for my daughter (my son’s twin), who did not want to leave her friends. I compromised and began driving my kids to different schools. It wasn’t easy to manage, though the decision quickly revealed its benefits. My son’s new school counselor was a godsend, finding a way to get him the help he needed. He became calmer, more confident, and began doing better in his studies. He hated school a tiny bit less and that was progress.
Four years later, my son graduated with flying colors and has since attended college and grad school—feats that seemed beyond impossible when it first became clear that he was an Outlier. There were plenty of challenges along the way, but we overcame them because I learned to advocate and teach my son to do the same for himself! Today, he is a successful working young adult. We have a great relationship as mother and son, as well as friends. Every Sunday, we have lunch together to talk about the good times we each experienced that week.