If you are parenting a remarkable, complex, and often demanding outlier child, you likely know what it feels like to quietly place your own life on pause. Many parents set aside their personal dreams, whether that is a career shift, returning to school, creating something meaningful, or simply exploring the world, while telling themselves, “I will come back to this once things settle down.”

Here is an important truth that many parents learn the hard way. Waiting for the journey to end before living your life does not work.

Caring for an outlier child is not a short chapter with a clear finish line. It is a long and meaningful journey that continues to unfold over time. Because of this, your dreams and goals cannot remain something you save for later. They need to become part of your life as it exists right now. This path may feel challenging, but it is absolutely possible.

The Mindset Shift: The Journey Is the Life

The most important step in reclaiming your personal dreams is a shift in how you see your situation. It requires moving away from the belief that your life is on hold and toward accepting this journey as a real and meaningful part of who you are.

The Summary of the Shift

Your time and energy may be limited, but that does not mean your dreams must disappear or remain untouched forever. There is no perfect future moment when everything becomes easy. Instead, there are many smaller stages along the way. Recognizing this allows you to live more fully within your current reality rather than waiting for conditions to change.

Acknowledge the ongoing nature of the journey. There is no final point where all challenges disappear.
Learn to live within the journey instead of feeling trapped by it.
Start small and allow growth to happen gradually.

At the beginning, creating a stable care system for your outlier child can be exhausting. Therapy appointments, routines, and emotional support take time and energy. Over time, however, once these systems become more consistent, you often regain small pockets of space. These moments can be used to reconnect with parts of yourself that matter deeply.

When you allow yourself to grow and pursue personal goals, you often feel lighter and more hopeful. That sense of fulfillment naturally carries into your family life and supports everyone around you.

The Power of Progress Over Perfection: Breaking Down Your Dreams

Step 1: Believe and Identify

Pursuing personal goals while caring for an outlier child is not easy. Still, difficulty does not mean impossibility. It simply means the approach needs to be thoughtful and flexible.

Everything begins with belief. You must believe that your dreams still matter and that it is possible to work toward them, even in small ways.

Step 2: Break It Down into Incremental Steps

Write down what you want. Be honest and clear about the direction you hope to move in, whether it is starting a business, finishing a degree, or learning a new skill.
Identify what needs to happen first. Most goals require smaller steps before progress can begin.

Large goals can feel overwhelming when time is limited. The solution is to break them into smaller actions that fit into your current life.

Instead of writing a goal like “Earn a degree,” consider the smaller steps involved. Researching schools, understanding requirements, contacting admissions, or reviewing course options are all meaningful actions. Each step moves you forward, even if progress feels slow.

This approach allows you to move steadily rather than giving up entirely. Progress does not need to be fast to be real. There are many ways to reach the same destination.

Making Yourself a Priority: The Self Discipline of Self Care

1. Scheduling and Discipline

If you want to protect time for your dreams, you must believe that you are worthy of that time. Caring for yourself is not separate from caring for your child. It is part of it.

Once you set aside time for yourself, honoring that time becomes an act of self respect.

Schedule your personal time just as you would schedule appointments for your child. Whether it is thirty minutes of writing or a couple of hours of study, place it on your calendar.
When the time arrives, do your best to show up for it. Your goals deserve commitment.

2. Using Discretion: Not Every Situation Is an Emergency

It helps to aim for consistency rather than perfection. If you honor most of your scheduled time, you are doing well. Allow room for flexibility without guilt.

It is important to recognize that not every situation requires immediate attention. While true emergencies do happen, not every challenge needs to interrupt everything you are doing.

3. Find Your Accountability Buddy

Protecting time for your personal growth teaches your child valuable lessons. They learn that boundaries matter and that growth is important for everyone in the family.

Having someone alongside you can make a meaningful difference. An accountability partner offers encouragement and structure when motivation feels low.

You can meet online or in person, work quietly together, or simply check in regularly. Shared effort reduces isolation and reminds you that you are not alone on this journey.

Embrace the Growth Mindset

Balancing caregiving with personal goals requires patience and adaptability. A growth mindset helps you see challenges as temporary rather than final.

When setbacks happen, such as missing a study session or struggling with a course, it does not mean failure. It simply means an adjustment is needed. Progress often looks uneven, especially in complex lives.

Flexibility and creativity allow you to keep moving forward, even when the path changes. With this mindset, growth continues even when progress feels slow.

Conclusion: Your Dreams Are Essential Self Care

Caring for an outlier child requires immense emotional and physical energy. Without personal fulfillment, burnout can quietly take over. Pursuing your dreams is not selfish. It is a form of care that restores your strength and sense of purpose.

When you feel fulfilled and connected to your own goals, you become more resilient, more patient, and more present as a parent. Your dreams matter, and they deserve space in your life.

You are allowed to build a future for yourself while caring deeply for your child.

Your Call to Action: Dream Big, Start Small

Do not wait for the perfect moment. Begin today with simple steps.

1. Write down one long term dream you have set aside.
2. Identify the first small action that can be done in thirty minutes.
3. Schedule that time this week and treat it with care.

Your child benefits from seeing you live with purpose and hope. Your life deserves that same care.