My own recent struggles with my Outlier were tough. Extremely tough. There were moments when it felt impossibly difficult to believe in him, or even in his future. I was caught in the darkness, unable to see past the present challenges. It was a brutal reminder that even as an old hand at this parenting business, I am sometimes capable of forgetting the essential realities that have served us so well so far.

In those trying times, I needed to recall lessons from the past, specifically from Chapter 13 of my book, My Little Outlier. The chapter explains the power of having a clear vision for your Outlier, having faith in it, and continuously picturing it. Reading it again, I realized my mistake: I had been focusing so intensely on the current dilemmas and picturing the worst. I had forgotten the unshakeable belief that my Outlier is supposed to lead an amazing life and have a fulfilling future. 

Visualizing the Future: Creating Your Vision

When you’re knee-deep in the daily realities of parenting, an Outlier journaling, playing detective, identifying challenges, and putting plans in place, thinking about the future might be the absolute last thing on your mind. You’re probably overwhelmed by your present reality, and the future can feel scary and uncertain.

Manifest the Vision: Your Belief Shapes Your Child’s Future

But this vision is vitally important. You manifest what you envision. Your entire being, your mind, body, spirit, and energy, will unconsciously work towards creating what you visualize and desire most. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy: you prophesy what you want for your child, and then you tirelessly work to fulfill that vision. This is what we call faith: seeing what you cannot yet see, and believing what you might not yet believe.

When you’re in a state of despair and can’t even see beyond today, it’s crucial to take the time to visualize and create a clear picture of what you want for your child. In the beginning, it might feel strange, even like a lie or false optimism. But you absolutely must do it.

How to Create and Claim Your Vision

When you find a few moments to yourself, set aside all the current challenges your Outlier is facing. Take a deep breath. Allow yourself to dream without limits or boundaries. Go for it! Lay out this amazing future for your child in your mind.

Fueling Faith Through Future Milestones

The “future” need not be the endpoint; it can be the next big milestone you would want for your child. As an example, I would actually picture my Outlier’s high school graduation ceremony. I could envision myself all dressed up and relatives cheering and applauding when he came onto the stage to get his diploma. I constructed this vision in my mind, bringing it to life many times a day, especially in challenging moments. I really did believe that it would come into being. Initially, it seemed odd, sometimes impossible, even absurd. But the more you imagine this vision, feel it, and really want it, the more it begins to materialize. You can even be specific about little things, like what you’d be wearing to that occasion.

To make it tangible, produce a visual reminder of your vision. It could be a photograph, a collage, or a written declaration. Post it in your room, on the fridge, or somewhere you’ll notice it every morning. Make it a habit to glance at it, and before long, it will become second nature to your mind. You can even put reminders on your phone to work on your vision. At the beginning, this might be something you have to do, but after a month or two, glancing at the vision will come naturally. When it’s a tough day, try to take ten minutes of me-time to work on your vision. This can become an excellent coping technique.

Wholeheartedly Claiming It and Believing in the Vision

The truth is, there are no impossible dreams. You can dream pretty much anything and visualize it in detail. Dream big! This is arguably the single most important step to creating the success you want for your child.

Your vision or dream can evolve as you navigate the years, but you should always hold a clear vision in your head. Believe it and wholeheartedly want it for your child. When you do this, you’ll start to see amazing things happen. You’ll feel happier, and you’ll have something tangible to work towards and look forward to. A life without hope can be sad and depressing. When you look to the future and envision what your children’s future holds, that vision gives you peace and joy. If you are religious, committing your vision to the Divine and praying about it can add another layer of faith and comfort.

Empowered Parenting: Building Bold, Evolving Visions for Your Outlier’s Growth

The vision you build will be unique to your Outlier’s situation. Each child is different, and importantly, you don’t need to limit your vision to what you perceive as your Outlier’s current abilities. Remember, a child experiencing developmental delays may catch up or find their own parallel path. The vision should be the highest immediate next stage or milestone your heart truly wants your child to reach. Be bold!

Once you reach your first milestone or realize a vision, create the next one. Visualize it, dream it often, and live it! This is an ongoing process. You’ll undoubtedly encounter doubts and questions about the future. Ignore those negative voices. Leave them be. Continue to hold onto your vision. It’s almost like a promise you make to yourself and claim that promise wholeheartedly.

As time goes by, this exercise will become natural, and you’ll gain more confidence as a parent. As you witness milestones being achieved and your visions coming true, you will grow stronger and stronger. So, start dreaming bigger! Visualize even grander things for your Outlier!

Conclusion

Parenting an Outlier is a journey unlike any other, often stretching our emotional limits and testing our resolve. As I’ve learned through my own recent struggles and through the wisdom of past experiences, it’s easy to get lost in the present challenges and lose sight of the incredible potential that lies ahead. But by deliberately creating and wholeheartedly embracing a vision for your Outlier’s future, you unlock a powerful force within yourself and your child.

This isn’t about blind optimism; it’s about active faith and purposeful action. Your vision becomes a guiding light, transforming despair into hope and uncertainty into determination. It allows you to prophesize the life you want for your child, then work diligently, day by day, to manifest that reality.

So, when the path gets difficult and doubts creep in, remember your vision. Revisit it, claim it, and believe in it with every fiber of your being. As you celebrate each milestone, no matter how small, let it fuel your courage to dream even bigger. Because by doing so, you’re not just hoping for a better future; you’re actively building it, one powerful visualization at a time. I invite you to share your experiences when trying this out in the comments below!